Theme: Social

Experience #29-30 Charitable donation

I am blessed. My life at the moment is great. I have the best husband, EVER! I love my career, my co-workers, and my clients. I have been guided by my financial adviser, Daniela, to put money aside for the future... Things are running smoothly. Simon and I have been giving to charities for many years. We chose a broad reaching, local foundations, that help families and individuals. This year we searched out other organisations and 2 rang true for me.

#29 Sponsoring a child though Plan Canada.
I chose to sponsor a little girl in Nepal. I am aware of the mistreatment of girls in many countries. My monthly contribution will go to provide her with adequate nutrition, water, sanitation, health care, education, and family income so her parents can support their children.

Founded in 1937, Plan Canada is one of the world’s oldest and largest charities, working to end global poverty. Inclusive of all faiths and cultures, Plan has only one purpose: to improve the lives of children.

#30 Silent auction fundraiser: We went to a e-women's network fundraiser for Bridges for women and Transition house. Chatting with all those professional women working on supporting their sisters who have experienced abuse, violence and neglect brought back to me my life "before Simon". It seems so far from my present reality, but I still feel some lingering effects from my own past, living with an abusive man. I was made to feel like second hand goods, worthless. If it wasn't for my mother and father  packing my possessions early one morning and literally putting me on that flight to Edmonton, Lord knows where I would be today. I have reached out to the women of Bridges and hope to be a mentor to someone working on re-creating herself. The fundraiser collected over $20,000 for both organisations. Bridges for women:

Bridges is a gutsy, innovative community agency. their employment training and supportive programs inspire women impacted by violence or abuse, to reclaim their lives and build economic security. Bridges draws on its extensive knowledge of the impacts of abuse on employability, to provide education, training and consulting to community agencies, employers, and government.
Every woman affected by violence or abuse will have the economic security to sustain herself and her family, in safety, health and freedom.

Transition House:

Regaining our lives, we regain self-respect.
Since 1975, several thousand women have come to their doors looking for help, seeking a brighter future for themselves and their children.Victoria Women’s Transition House Society has been there to provide a safe, welcoming shelter, respectful counselling, support and advocacy. A lot has changed in 35 years. But our purpose has stayed the same - to provide a helping hand and a safe place for women to envision a new future.

Experience #28: Wet exit

Theme: water

One of the challenges this year, coming up in July, will be to kayak with the orcas in the San Juan Islands. It may surprise some but I tend to be cautious. I know squat about kayaking. Soooo. We thought it best to take a level one course to at least know some strokes, and how to rescue ourselves.

The course was given by Ocean River Sports. Jeanette and Danika, our instructors were great. They were very enthusiastic and friendly, but were also good instructors and gave us really good basic skills. The course curriculum moved us from novices to beginner level boaters. Perfect for our planned trtip.

The wet exit was interesting. What if you capsize you kayak? The spray skirt holds you in the cockpit. (Notice I use terminology-nice eh?) Well the skirt has a loop at the bow end that sticks out from the cockpit combing. (stop it with all this terminology!) So one simply slides ones hand along the cockpit opening toward the front and one reaches the loop. Simply pull forward and up to release the skirt and kick out of the up-turned boat. Don't forget to hold onto you paddle (not oar). Now you're wet. and your boat has water in it... If your buddy is near by he/she can stabilise your boat while you spawn (climbing terminology-but appropriate description) up and back into your kayak. Or you can use a floater attached to your paddle and climb back in on your own. Very cool! The aim is of course NOT having to do this rescue in the first place, but it is nice to know how. Hopefully, one can "edge" (lean to one side) the boat and "brace" with the paddle (using the back of the paddle as a stabiliser) to re-adjust the level of the kayak and avoid capsizing. I think we're ready for the long week-end!

Themes: music and protest

Experiences #26 &27 Sing a solo, protest

   When I started the year, I thought of what challenges I would like to tackle. Singing an official solo was a biggie. Before I chickened out, I sent an e-mail to Jack, my choir director. I was thinking a one sentence solo as part of one of the songs we would present at a concert. This is the typical solo with the Arbutus singers. Well, Jack is this supper generous guy, sooooo he offered me a full solo with the song of my choice! Yikes! I had nightmares for about a week. Then came the task of finding which song to pick. Simon suggested Kate Bush-I love her music. We chose Army Dreamer. It is a beautiful, and short song. So for the next month I sang that song over and over. I was obsessed!
   My first attempt singing it with the men-my backup- was not so good. I was so scared I could hardly breathe let alone sing. Oddly enough the other "new experiences" such as the roller coaster and the day wearing an abaya stripped away some of my fears. I had 5 more opportunities to practise with the men. By the time the concert came this past week-end, I felt prepared and well, calm!
   I feel it went very well and I am satisfied with my performances. Two of them, in front of more than 400 people each time at the First Metropolitan Church.
   I am very thankful to Jack, Sylvia and Irene my directors, the men of Arbutus singers who looked upon me with such love and encouragement, and all the folks that came to see my performances. A special thanks to Simon who kept on saying that I could do it. How did he know?!

   My sister-in-law, Martine, challenged me to protest something. This song is my protest; it bemoans the loss of life during war. Such a waste.

Theme Romance:

Experience #22 Kiss in 50 different places. #23 say I LOVE YOU in 50 different languages:

Mandy recommended the romance theme. Thanks, it's been most enjoyable! Simon and I have been together now for 27 years- married 26 years. Yikes! When you say it, it seems like a loooong time. But funny enough we both feel like we're still just at the beginning of our lives together. I appreciate his willingness to play and recreate himself along our journey. Also I do know how fortunate I am to have such a support/chauffeur/confidant/man servant. So showing my love and appreciation is easy. We've already kissed in more than 50 places. So we are aiming for 150 places. It can't hurt!

As for the professing of my love, well pronunciation aside, that's easy as well. My favourites:
Te quiero (Spanish)
ich liebe disch (German)
jeg ebker dig (Danish)
mahal kita (Filipino)

Theme environment:

Experiences #24 No car for a month. #25 No take away trash for 3 months:

These challenges come from Kelly, an environmental client of mine. They are not difficult to perform; they simply require some forethought and planning. As we live and work downtown, not using the car was mostly easy. The errands farther afield were done on week-ends as part of our "long walk training". It allowed us to see our city from a different point of view.

The no trash challenge took a bit more planning. One must be prepared! Have on your person: cutlery, napkin/handkerchief, baggies, travel mug, Tupperware and cloth grocery bags. If you don't have these items then you have to sit and have your coffee/lunch at the shop; or purchase those items latter. Shop keepers are going to offer "to go" packaging DON'T USE IT. I did not see much resistance to using my own baggies for muffins or my Tupperware for take-out foods in Victoria. In Vegas it was very hard to do this challenge. There is no recycling in hotels, coffee shops do NOT want to use my baggies (concerns about contamination?) and insist on giving you coffee in a paper cup-even when you want to sit in their shop. I like this challenge and will endeavour to keep going with this new habit.

Experience #21
Theme: water/ scuba diving

Woohoo! What a thrill! Simon and I have been snorkeling for many years and thought about scuba diving but never took the time to learn. So as part of the 50 new experiences-why not?

Kellen was an enthusiastic instructor, and very good communicator under water. He maintained his cool and had patience with us as we fumbled through the "firsts" of this course.

For those who haven't done it and are apprehensive, the course is gradual and brings you confidence as you succeed with the required skills in progression from simple to more complex. First thing-put gear on at the pool's shallow end and bend over to take your first breath under water. No problem. Now kneel down in the shallow end and breathe. Fill your mask half way with water and clear it. Into the deep end we go! We spent 2- two hour sessions at the pool getting acquainted with the equipment and performing various drills. Saturday, we did 2 open water dives repeating all the same skills in the cold ocean, wearing a full wetsuit. Some moments of nervousness were experienced by all, but we all managed well. Sunday, we did 2 more dives to deeper levels and stayed longer underwater.

Some of you would be amazed at the wild life we have on our coast line. The water is cold but the wetsuit holds your body heat quite well. There's a lot of gear to don. Simon and I had about 65lbs of gear on. I found walking and stepping up onto the break-water quite challenging, but Simon and Kellen were gentlemen and helped me out.

Lessons learnt with this new skill-stay calm. Take the few seconds to get your bearings and choose the right course of actions. Ask your buddy for help if needed. Oh and don't forget to breathe!

Experience #20
Theme: social awareness: living in a Muslim abaya for a day

My friends, Garth and Holly, have been working in Saudi for about 3 years. They suggested this challenge to me- Why don't you dress like a Muslim for a day? This experience took me farther than I originally thought it would. My aim was not to wear a disguise and walk around creating havoc. I wanted to live as a conservative woman of Islam to feel what she may experience living is such a western culture.

My first step was to read up on Islamic faith and practises. I realised I knew nothing about them. The Qur'an states that both men and women are equal but different. Men have a public life where they are charged with maintaining and providing/protecting their family and their wives. Women live a more private life. The Sharia (Islamic law) provides complimentarianism, differences between the sexes. Neither the Qur'an or Hadith mention women having to be housewives. The majority of Muslim countries give women a varying degree of rights with regards to marriage, divorce, civil rights, legal status, dress code and education based on different interpretations of Islamic doctrine.

5 pillars of faith:
These "pillars" are to be followed by the faithful as a guide to living a full life. I took note of these and tried to find a way to incorporate many of them during my day. Some I had to make time for, others actually happened naturally as I transformed into this woman.

Let's start at the beginning. My bird got me up at 5am. Time for prayer. I'm not religious so I use this time for quite contemplation/meditation. I got dressed in my borrowed Abaya (black manteau/coat, hijab/scarf over hair and nipaab face veil). At first I felt a bit claustrophobic, but got used to the confined feeling and feeling some freedom as none of my looks mattered. As I steeped out of the apartment I became aware of my man radar. A Muslim woman would try to avoid close contact with men not related to her. She can do business with a man, as long as no physical contact is made and that conversation remains civil and respectful. So as I made my way to my coffee date, I became aware of the obstacle course men made for me on the streets.

All service that day: coffee shop, grocery store, restaurant, shop clerk were all normal and respectful, as though I was Julie C. Men glanced as they passed by out of curiosity, but I felt they were less interested in me than if I was my Canadian self. The women were different. Their looks included pity, disgust and even anger. Their stare felt cold and judgemental making me feel even more isolated.

My physical demeanour changed. My steps had to be smaller due to the long coat, my pace slower as I lacked the fresh air. But the dress made me aware that this woman would be modest not only in dress but in actions. Sit up right, knees together, softer voice.

Testimony: pillar #2-I did this without knowing. My 2 Friends who joined me for meals both were at first disturbed by their feeling toward this "Muslim woman". I felt her speaking through me stating that she did this not out of oppression but out of her respect for her God and her husband. That her beauty was a cherished gift she kept private for them.

Fasting: pillar #3- Eating is HARD with the niqaab. I could drink OK by lifting the veil and tipping to cup to my lips. But food-I could not see the fork and aim it at my mouth so a lot of my salad ended up on my lap.

Alms giving: pillar #4- I looked at the beggars differently. I felt ignored and isolated and could see that they too were treated this way. I bowed discreetly to them and offered the greeting "peace be with you"/ as salamu alakum.

Pilgrimage: pillar #5-this whole day was my pilgrimage. It transformed my view of myself and of the other women of the world. We are often treated differently by society; judged for what we say, do, wear. We are somehow at fault for bad things that may happen to us. But I realised, we are our worst enemy. Instead of supporting one another we ofter judge more harshly then the men do. Food for thought.
As salamu alakum

Experiences #17-18-19
Theme "the computer"
#17- create a blog:
Well I'm well under way with this one. Starting the blog was simple enough. Goggle has blogspot that offers various styles to choose from. I chose the flying birds of course. I chose a blog as opposed to a face book page as this needs no invitations and memberships to check in. What I put up is open to anyone who wishes to find it. I will continue reporting on my events 'till the end of the year.

#18-e-learning:
As part of learning to scuba-dive, I am expected to learn on line about the theories related to atmospheric pressures, gas, and the affects on the human body. I am most impressed with the planning it takes to create such a site. The learning sessions incorporate videos, written materials, schematics, and printable charts and tables. All went well until I got stuck on a test question, that I could not find a solution for. Now I have to call a rep from the dive store to help me out. I guess e-learning has it's limitations...

#19- research:
I don't do computer work. I am a novice at best. But I know I cannot avoid this creature as it is infiltrating even my massage practise. So with all the events planned for this year, many come from exploring the web. Finding information, booking on-line, getting permits, printing off maps, finding the score for my solo, even getting ideas for the "bucket list", I am getting more comfortable with using the blasted beast and maybe we can come to respect one another.